Desire a Great 2024...Think from the Inside Out!
With the start of the New Year, we are accustomed to creating New Year Resolutions for ourselves. You know, things like I am going to lose 15 pounds, going to drink less, read at least one book per month, learn a new hobby, stop smoking, spend more time with my family, spend less money and let's not forget the classic...reduce my stress.
Terrific, right? I don't think so, and the science proves this out. A recent survey, The Forbes Health/One Poll, found the average resolution lasted only 3.7 months.
Last month, I had a wonderful conversation with a psychologist from the UK; and with the New Year around the corner, we were talking about setting resolutions. He asked me to consider instead of starting the discussion with a list of "to-do things", to begin by answering this question:
"If you want to have a better year in 2024 than you did in 2023...
· What would you do more?
· What would you do less?
· What would you do differently?
Hearing this approach, I loved not abandoning what I did in 2023 but instead using it as a base to make my life better in the New Year. To me, this was evolving my current path instead of injecting what I call resolution disruptors that could easily result in a zero-sum game (win or lose) mindset... Did I lose the weight? Did I start my new hobby yet? Is my stress reduced?
Neuropsychologist Dr. Julia DiGanglia also touches on faults within our resolution setting process in her article, For Happiness in the New Year, Stop Overdoing Everything. Working to help people understand the effects of self-defeating behaviors, she cautions use of what she calls the Overs such as overworking, overachieving, overthinking, overexplaining, over-giving, overcommitting, etc.
The great news is that you are the sole determiner of your own direction for 2024. However, before you go on your way, let me tell you a little more about my discussion with my friend from the UK.
Additionally, he suggested overlaying additional context to the question he originally posed. For instance, focusing on self-care and building change based on personal values versus a check list of resolution obligations.
With this in mind, I have a tendency to take on tooooooo many requests, which can add considerable stress to my life. However, I actually enjoy contributing to and helping people.
Personal Values: To be an advocate to help people better navigate through their challenges.
Self-care: Make time for the activities that will give me the greatest personal joy.
Resolution: Be more selective in activities by saying no when they are not consistent with my personal values.
Considering the question, what adjustments would I make to 2023 for a better 2024…I would like to accept fewer requests, increase those activities that mean more to me personally, and would like my schedule to be less frenetic. Regarding my self-care, I would like more time for myself and personal needs and yet ensure that I am a strong advocate and resource to help family caregivers. Therefore, I decided in 2024 that I will establish better personal boundaries and ensure others are aware of them.
I am excited to see how this approach works for me. It is not my usual list of to-do's and not-to-do's, but a shift in my daily lifestyle. As the research shows, the way most of us traditionally set our New Year Resolutions doesn't seem to stick. However, this year you may want to look at things from the inside out, where the inside is anchored in personal joy and your ultimate resolution(s) help you to follow it throughout the year and beyond!
Help yourself. Help others.
