Wanna Be Happy? Follow Your Joy!

While working with family caregivers, it’s interesting to observe that some caregivers faced with similar responsibilities as others are happier and more positive. As a consequence, they navigate through their day-to-day responsibilities with less wear and tear than their less positive caregiver counterparts.

Our research shows these family caregivers are also found to be (1) better prepared for their caregiver role, (2) more aware of the importance of maintaining “life balance”, (3) exhibit greater emotional and physical well-being, (4) attend to personal relationships, and (5) practice better self-care. 

Happiness can mean different things to different people. For some, its achievement driven for personal satisfaction. For others, happiness comes from a feeling of gratitude by appreciating their lives. Others find happiness through a sense of inner joy. Regardless of the path, happiness is a universal desire. 

My recent conversation with Dr. Robert Holden, a psychologist and global thought leader on conditions and issues for achieving happiness, provided valuable insight in the behaviors that help us achieve a more sustained, happier life.  

Many of us have been conditioned to strive for happiness, as if it is something earned! And gang, it's NOT. Follow this direction and it's pretty certain that your road to happiness will be bumpy at best. 

That said, let’s be honest, how many times have you thought…if I get this promotion, if I earn this salary or if mom’s medical tests go well, I will be happy. However, the concept of chasing happiness is just that, a chase.  This happened and today I am happy, but life does what life does and your life needs and goals change; and with that, within the chasing mindset, so does the criteria for achieving happiness change. 

Research studies from 2011 and 2021 have shown the ebbs, flows and focusing on chasing happiness can contribute to feeling less satisfied with our lives and actually feel less happy.  Ultimately, it is not unusual when we try to chase happiness to end up further from it.

Joy, on the other hand, doesn't result from an outward accomplishment. It results from feeling good at any given moment, and carrying that feeling forward and building on that feeling through more experiences. Joy is always present; we just need to recognize it! And, unlike happiness, joy can coexist with difficult times and share space with emotions including fear, anger, and even sadness. 

Here are 5 considerations to help you better understand the process, and surrounding issues of following your joy: 

• Joy is an inner feeling, which is different from happiness that can be outward driven.

• Do what makes you feel good in the moment, perhaps it is helping a friend, or having time to read a topic that satisfies your ongoing curiosity.

• Choosing to say no to the things that do not deliver that uplifting feeling.

• Accept the moment you are in and do not revisit the past, or project to the future. Reduce the should of’s and what if’s.

• Embrace gratitude in your life, and work at making the mindset of gratitude a constant companion.   

Tammy Godsall, International Happiness Coach, describes following your JOY, as an internal focus. Your joy is already here, you don't chase it, you choose it. It’s not about becoming happy; it's about being happy. 

According to Tammy, here are 5 signs when you know you are Following Your Joy:

1. You Feel Alive 

Joy is your original energy, and when you follow it, you feel alive. Even if you are facing challenges in your life, you feel alive and you are participating in life. 

2. You Are Doing What You Love

You allow yourself to do what you love. Life is too short not to. We are on this earth to be happy. 

3. You Are On Purpose

You feel like your life has meaning and value. You don't just feel like you have a job. You have a purpose. 

4. You Feel On Track 

You use JOY as your compass and you follow it. Despite the ups and downs, you know you are headed in the right direction. 

5. You Are Expressing Yourself

You are expressing who you are, you are sharing your voice with the world--your talents, skills, thoughts, opinions and your love. Robert Holden says ''I know people who follow their joy experience with a depth of creativity and talent that inspires the world.'' When you do what you love and follow your joy, you connect with who you really are. 

Joy touches both our soul and mind, and as a result, we immediately know when we are not in alignment with it. Following our joy helps guide us to finding our purpose, which promotes our connection to others and fills us with a sense of meaningful contribution. 

Tomorrow, and for the next two weeks, try this simple exercise… I am following my joy when........ (Fill in the blank).

Think about it, experiment with it, connect with it and give yourself the greatest opportunity to embrace the internal happiness that is solely yours!

Help yourself. Help others.