Passing the Time Productively
Recently, I accompanied my wife Jill to her annual mammogram exam. Since Jill was diagnosed with breast cancer 12 years ago, I do this every year. I would like to think I am getting better in the waiting room, however, I still notice when waiting, my heart rate is a bit quicker, my thoughts are more unsettled and my concentration is certainly more uneven. It is so easy to experience non-productive, runaway negative thinking. The problem is our mind doesn’t differentiate between our realities versus our perceptions and the emotional cascade turns on and will not change direction until we take steps to redirect it...
Now, if all I said is true, and it is, then when we encounter situations that internally freak us out (Not a very sophisticated clinical term, but pretty accurate!) it is a good idea to practice the anti-freak-out ABC’s:
1. Become aware of what you are doing to yourself
2. Take a few deep breaths and slowly exhale
3. Course correct your thoughts
As psychologist Dr. Wayne Dyer says “what you think about expands” (“As a man thinketh, so is he”, Book of Proverbs). Please understand, if our mind and body reacts to the negative stories we create and internalize it only makes sense that they will also react to positive stories we create and internalize!
Recognize this and when you’re feeling emotionally challenged take a quick “thoughts” inventory. For instance, are your thoughts consistent with the “reality” of the situation? Is there another way of looking at your current situation? Will your current thoughts help you access a better outcome? And, never forget, you have absolute choice about what thoughts and narratives you create and focus on!
Oh yeah, back to my personal story… just as my thoughts seemed to be taking on a life of their own, especially after waiting for 1 1/2 hours, I saw Jill come out of the examining room with a reassuring smile and a thumbs up. Ah, all is right in the world and I felt my anxiousness immediately begin to calm, at least for NOW. Good ending, right? Absolutely! But…it can be even greater if I am honest with myself and learn from this experience.
Next year, while Jill is in the examining room, if I find my heart beating more rapidly and it is a bit difficult to concentrate, I will practice my ABC’s to develop a more positive thoughts and a story that promotes greater well-being and peace-of-mind. Thumbs up to that!
Help yourself. Help others.
