Look for Dark Clouds and Eventually You’ll Find Them!
“Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass; it is about learning to dance in the rain.”
When I first read this quote, I wrote it off as no more than a nice message that belonged in a Hallmark card. But when I came across it again a week or so later, I started to think about it more and more. And, I found myself repeating it particularly when I was talking with family caregivers about trying to achieve a more positive yet realistic outlook on the life they are experiencing. Let me explain…
As family caregivers, we can all recall times that we’ve felt swallowed alive by an unexpected rainstorm, a storm that sapped our emotional and physical energy or stopped life dead in its tracks. It’s easy to blame the storm for altering our plans, to throw up our hands and cede control. And the more storms that cross our paths, the more likely we are to start seeing clouds on the horizon, even when we see clear skies on the horizon.
Over the past 21 years of interviewing and speaking with family caregivers, I have met with many who simply accept the occasional storm for what it is… a passing shower, not the new normal. And, because they aren’t expecting the worst, they’re better able to enjoy the good days without worrying about what’s around the bend. These are folks who have also learned to live in the present!
It took me many years to rewire my default thinking, to learn that a little rain didn’t need to cloud my entire day. When I was a kid, I loved playing baseball more than anything; so, on the day of a game, I would mentally obsess over the weather forecast. If rain was predicted, I would sit in class looking out the window in search of clouds (This was to the dismay of my 6th grade teacher, Sister Mary Francis!) even if it was mostly sunny outside. I spent so much time stressing about something I had no control over that I ended up missing out on the thrilling anticipation of the game ahead. And the truth is, some of the most fun I had as a little leaguer was playing in the rain, mostly because opposing pitchers couldn’t throw a wet baseball very fast. 😎
As a family caregiver you may not always have control over the circumstances that come your way, but you can fully control their meaning to you and the way you respond to them. And remember, if the weather looks a little threatening don’t spend your precious time worrying about finding a way to change it. Instead, appreciate the moment and if it happens to rain don’t be afraid to get wet. If you get soaked, you’ll definitely dry off and you may find your newly found emotional freedom refreshing!
Help Yourself. Help Others.
