In baseball, being able to hit a curveball separates “the good” from “the great.” The curve may not boast the same speed as a fastball, but from the time it leaves the pitcher’s hand, its path can be unpredictable, with the goal of leaving the batter off-balance and instilling a sense of uncertainty about what is to come next. Doesn't this sound like family caregiving? Like baseball hitters, family caregivers don’t always know what’s going to be thrown at them, but they need to be prepared for anything...

Working with family caregivers, I see a wide range of attitudes and emotions that exist within this large community of very special people. What I find especially interesting is that some family caregivers, faced with similar responsibilities, are happier and have a more positive attitude. Consequently, they navigate through their day-to-day responsibilities with less wear and tear...

When I speak with family caregivers, especially in support groups, they often equate burnout with failure. Never mind the ramifications that burning out can have on a caregiver’s health and well-being; it’s often interpreted as a sign of weakness, rife with implications of ineffectiveness, inability and frailty. Sadly, family caregivers often feel like they’re expected to tackle Herculean tasks such as caring for a loved one, managing personal family responsibilities, and succeeding as an employee, all with nothing more than a gracious nod and a smile. But where’s the “me time” in that to-do list? That essential block of quiet time to rest, recuperate and recharge your batteries...

I have been receiving emails and calls from family caregivers asking about all the recent stories they are seeing about happiness. To summarize their comments, there is a feeling that if attaining happiness, even intermittently, sounds so damn easy, then why are they having so much trouble being happy? Fair question, especially if you consider what many family caregivers deal with day-to-day. In my opinion, being happy is not easy or hard and shouldn’t be viewed with a pass/fail mindset. It’s an emotional state that you can develop and incorporate into your daily life…

Yesterday, after speaking with a friend about a personal matter, I realized I could hardly recall any specifics from our conversation despite having initiated the chat. I was both bothered by and curious about how this could happen and whether it was truly a rare occurrence. Looking back, I believe that I have gradually inched my way to becoming a reactive listener, which isn’t really listening at all. As a family caregiver, you can't afford to not be an active listener. Learn the steps you can take to listen with purpose, especially when it counts the most...

My mom always made a big fuss over mealtimes, and I vividly remember the yellow dishes she used to set the dinner table every night. Along with our yellow everyday plates, she also had a set of “special occasion” china dishes. My mom treasured these special dishes. But, I couldn’t understand why, if our special dishes gave my mom such joy, she only used them occasionally. Moral of the story, don't let the joy you have in your hands today slip by. Grab it when it is present and enrich your life...

I have read over a thousand stories describing all types of caregiving situations, from adult children caring for an elderly mother and father to a young teenager caring for their single parent or grandparent every day after school. Regardless of their individual circumstances, I am always touched by the selflessness of caregivers, who provide quality care for a loved one regardless of the effect this responsibility has on their personal lives. What I have discovered throughout my research is that the family caregivers most frequently described as “caring” also possess an additional, unspoken quality called life balance. Discover the basic steps you can take to incorporate better life balance and joy into your life...

Recognizing that a loved one may be more forgetful, somewhat aloof, or a bit confused can be startling. You can easily attribute these changes to simply “getting older.” It’s a natural, self-protective response since alternative explanations like dementia or, more specifically, Alzheimer’s disease can be overwhelming. Try not to be in denial and/or frightened because the earlier you check things out with a physician, the quicker you can be on a path to help your loved on achieve the best quality of life possible...